This ... this might be an entire blog post about a single song.
For me, this song has changed my life. I'm planning on getting the lyrics tattooed on my thigh this summer, hopefully. Give me a minute of your time and let me explain why.
Last summer I was going through a bit of a tough time emotionally - I have no idea why. There was a few weeks during the most gorgeous days of sunshine where I just felt lost and sad, and I was crying nearly every day with no real explanation why. I found myself growing morose and was so afraid of slipping back into depression, so along with the sadness came - anxiety!
I scheduled an appointment with my therapist and he wasn't able to see me for over a week (which when you're waiting, can feel like a lifetime). On the day of the appointment I was over an hour early and thought to myself, "Well, what am I going to do way over on the other side of town?" I went to a beach.
I love this beach (Cattle Point in Oak Bay). I pulled up and I had my iPod and headphones, so I adventured down to the rocks and I sat there for nearly an hour. I was still feeling horrible anxiety.
Then ... this song came on. I closed my eyes.
It starts out pretty trance-y and just calming electronica that builds itself up over eight minutes, complete with soothing vocals. I'm not sure if the music just syncs up perfectly with a calming heart rate, if it gets me out of my own head, I am not sure what this song does, but it calms me down. I couldn't believe I had never heard it before. When the song was over I opened my eyes and remembered I was laying on a rock in the sun at the ocean. I realized I was going to be late for my therapy session. I got in my car and drove to my therapist's.
When I walked into his office he looked at me and asked how I was feeling.
I told him I thought that I possibly didn't need the session anymore for that day. He laughed and agreed and I told him about the song and my meditation journey I'd just experienced. He recommended that I hold onto this song, that feeling, that ease, that happiness, and that calmness, and I have.
It might sound strange but any time I feel anxious about an event, a journey, anything coming up, I listen to this song. Sometimes for no good reason I feel anxious and my boyfriend knows that if I put on this song I just need a few minutes of space and that I will be alright. It keeps me centered and grounded. I will always remember that day when I felt despair and the way it transformed me.
So you're probably thinking, what song IS this magic?!
Here it is. (PS - literally almost any song by this band will have the same effect!)
Lend me your deepest wisdom
Give me a sinner's chance
Learned spirits, won't you inspire?
Bear all my thoughts and wishes
To sacred places I'd reside
Where hope is born, where hope survives
Oh fallen lovers, won't you rise?
Fallen demons, won't you fight?
Your hearts were never made of stone
You who tempt the fates
You who've journeyed oh so far
To apparitions in the haze
Rise up you earthbound demons
Rise up before me now and fight
Your time has finally come
And take me back before the years
And memories are worn with time
Before the hourglass is drained
Before the colors start to fade
Teleconnect Pt. 2 - VNV Nation